Paradox

I am a paradox.  I am a sinner - at least I sin a lot, yet I am a redeemed, cleansed, child of God.  I loathe myself in my sin, yet I selfishly want to sin more.  I think I am the worst of people - a recipient of God's grace who yet spurns that grace by continuing in sin, yet I pridefully think of myself as the best of people - at least better than that guy over there.  I have been made a new creature in Christ, yet I act like the old monster.  My spirit is made new and yearns to draw upward into the embrace of God, yet my flesh still yearns to go down and wallow in the muck of the world.  I am torn apart.  I am at war in myself.  We talk about fighting the battles between good and evil in our society and culture, but what am I to do about that battle in me?  In both places I know who will ultimately win, but that doesn't change the battle that rages each day.  Who will set me free from this existence of sin and death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!  I look forward to that day when His work in me is finally complete.